A Year Without My Furry Friend: Remembering Sweet Burrito

On a sunny and chilly afternoon, one year ago, I faced a very heart-wrenching moment in my life. It was a day that left a mark on my soul, a day when I said my final goodbye to my best friend – my dog Burrito. Time has an interesting way of healing and deepening wounds, and today, as I write this blog post, I find myself revisiting that bittersweet memory with a heart heavy with emotions. Burrito had been an unforgettable part of my life, and the void left by his absence still lingers today. Even with the love of my two other dogs, Porter and Poppie. 

As you read through this post, I invite you to join me in celebrating the life of an extraordinary friend while I remind you that the unspoken connection between humans and their four-legged friends is remarkable. I’m still coping with the loss, but this is a tribute to my little buddy and a remembrance of the happiness he brought to my world for a long 17 years.

Burrito had such an amazing energy. He brightened my day with spritely fun each morning. He could turn the mundane into an adventure and the gloomy into a laugh. He was playful, curious, energetic, loved to cuddle, loved laying in the sun, loved being by my side. He preferred people over other animals. I remember when he would spend time at a doggie daycare, I would check their cameras and find he was happy standing next to the humans – avoiding the other dogs. The employees loved him of course.

You couldn’t pull out a tennis ball without playing fetch. There were countless hours of fetch over the years, and he wouldn’t stop until we made him.

He was a dog that required little maintenance. He almost never needed to go to the vet unexpectedly. Only once, when he had uncontrollable sneezing that started bleeding. Turned out, he had a live warble stuck in his nose. Not a fun experience for either of us.

Even in his later years, he may have moved slowly, but he still made sure he was close wherever I was. I knew simply being by me made him happy and in moments when he stared at me, I always felt like he loved me so much.

In the end during those last 2 days, he suffered and in turn, I suffered. On November 8, we knew it was time and made that dreaded decision. One of the most difficult and emotionally draining choices to make. His kidneys were failing and so the appointment was scheduled for the next day and during that little time, things took a turn for the worse. 

That night, I held him tight and did everything I could to make him feel loved. Before going to bed, I wrapped him in a blanket, and we stared at the sky at this beautiful full moon. A typical happy place for me and I got to experience one last time with him.

That night however was rough. We were up all night with our sweet baby. Every 20 seconds he would bark this high pitched, screeching sound. We don’t know if he was in pain or confused, or what. We did our best to comfort him, but it was excruciating not being able to calm him. We moved him from side to side, from bed to couch. But nothing seemed to help. By 4am, I just sat up with him, sitting on the couch as he was wrapped in his tortilla blanket by my side. I just sat there watching him, petting him, and crying. It’s hard watching these painful moments knowing you can’t do anything.

Then, something sweet happened. Poppie, who was about 11 months old at the time, came to sit on the couch by me, sitting on my other side. She just snuggled up right next to me and in this moment, I had this thought. This circle of life moment. A dying dog in his final moments on one side, and a young spritely pup on the other. Such a beautiful, albeit difficult, experience to have and recognize. Nature's way of taking and giving back life to earth. Wow. 

That early morning, we went outside and I held him while we watched a colorful Colorado sunrise. Another beautiful last moment together.

Thoughout that final day, I tried to manage his pain. I had to pour the powder of his pain meds in his mouth as he wasn’t eating or swallowing. I gave him water with a dropper. I cleaned him up after the fluids were releasing from his tiny body. All while he laid there motionless, as I waited anxiously for the vet to come. Not an easy thing to see.

I didn’t get that ‘spoil him rotten’ last day that I imagined. His decline happened so fast he was practically comatose the entire last day before he quietly died on his own, next to me and Chad.

I will forever miss his cuddles and love for snuggling deep under the covers next to me.

I miss playing fetch with him.

I miss seeing his little shadow under the bathroom door as he walked back and forth waiting for me to come out.

I miss kissing his tiny head.

I miss him wanting to be by me.

I just miss him.

But what a beautiful thing to love someone so much, even though you know you’ll have to say goodbye.

In the year that has passed since Burrito’s departure, I have learned that the love we share with our pets is truly magical. They are family. It’s a love that teaches us to cherish every moment we have with our loved ones. While the pain of loss will always be there, the legacy of my little Burrito will live on. I am so grateful for the time we had, and those 17 years were quite epic.

Thank you for joining me on this journey of remembrance to this little buddy.

Peace & love,
Nikki